“[Jesus said,] ‘…there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.'” – Mark 7:15

The awkward hour – well, not quite an hour –
takes place each morn as I step in the shower.
While water cascades on my form and soap dislodges
clinging dust, my memory tunes to regret.

I sigh into the foam.

I’ve plenty to regret, and hope that you have less.
I recall failed relationships, the ways I’ve failed
my family and friends. I wonder how I’ve grieved
my God – and wonder, too, how I can claim to wonder…

My feet shift with discomfort.

The exercise might be worthwhile if
it prompted me to understandings new,
new ways to make amends, repair what had
gone wrong, but mostly I just grieve.

I close my eyes against the shampoo’s sting.

Symbolically, I’m doing all I can to cleanse,
but in my spirit: no. These demons have not been
expelled. They live quite happily within
my memories and recollected thoughts.

Knobs turned, the water does not fall.

Yes, Jesus, it is from within these things emerge,
defiling once again my spirit, laying low
my joy in you. I ask myself, “Why do this to yourself?”
and know I am not reconciled to me.

I pray that I am reconciled to you.

A poem/prayer based on Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23, the Revised Common Lectionary Gospel Reading for Year B, Proper 17 (22).

Photo by D O’Neil, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=682251.