Last week it was saltiness. This week it’s sweetness. We’re making our way around the taste buds, I guess. I don’t actually have plans to visit sourness or bitterness, but who knows?
An i’iwi was having a hard time. They’re used to sipping nectar from ohi’a flowers and koa flowers and mamane flowers and lots of other flowers, and nectar is basically flower sugar. It’s pretty sweet. It does change, though, a little like the way that some oranges are sweeter than others. It’s got to do with the rainfall or lack of it, and the soil nourishment, and lots of other things that I don’t know about and the i’iwi doesn’t know about and the tree might know about but trees don’t talk about that sort of thing very much.
In any case, the i’iwi wasn’t finding much in the way of sweet nectar. Nectar, yes. Enough to keep her from getting hungry, yes. Sweetness that satisfied: not so much.
So she went looking for sweetness.
It’s not uncommon for the nectar-feeding birds of the mountains to fly about looking for nectar. She had a somewhat different agenda, though: sweeter nectar, and not just nectar. For whatever reasons, though, the nectars she sampled tasted much the same: a little dry, a little bland. She could eat it, but she really wanted something better. It was the difference between your grandmother’s chocolate chip cookie, and the cookie you ate the reminds you how much better grandmother’s chocolate chip cookies are.
She didn’t find it.
She was sitting grumpily on a branch complaining about this to her mother. I’iwi can be pretty good at being grumpy birds, and she was putting in the practice to get really good at it. Her mother, I must say, wasn’t a particularly grumpy bird and didn’t want to be.
“So you want to find sweetness?” she asked her daughter. “Where have you looked?”
Her daughter described her flights up the mountain, and down the mountain, and along the slopes of the mountain, and how the nectar just wasn’t what she wanted or hoped for.
“Those are the only places you checked?” said mother.
“Where else?” said the daughter. “I could fly farther but will that work out any better?”
“I don’t know,” said her mother, “especially because I think you can find sweetness much closer to home.”
“Where?” demanded her daughter. “Where is there sweetness here?”
“There’s the warmth of the sun on your feathers,” said her mother, “and the sound of the rain on the leaves. There’s the scent of mamane on the wind, the great blue of the clear sky, and the dramatic greys of the cloudy sky.”
“Those are ordinary things!” her daughter protested.
“Well, there’s also the way your father loves you, and your grandparents love you, and the way I love you,” mother said. “Is that ordinary?”
“It is,” said the daughter, “but it’s special, too.”
“Best of all,” said mother, “is the sweetness that’s inside you. It goes with you wherever you fly. You never have to worry that it will run out. Even when no one is around, even in the coldest, darkest night, even when none of the trees are in blossom, there is sweetness in your heart.”
“You helped put it there,” said her daughter.
“Sip that sweetness when you need to, daughter,” said her mother. “Sip it and be refreshed.”
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories ahead of time, but I tell them from memory and improvisation. The story as you have read it is not identical to the way I told it.
Salt is a funny thing. Your body, my body, pretty much every body of every person and every creature needs some salt. Without salt, we get sick. On the other hand, if we have too much salt, we also get sick. Not too much, not too little. That’s the way to do it.
Most of the birds, including yellow-billed cardinals, manage to get the right amount of salt just by what they eat. Seeds have a little salt. So do berries. But every once in a while things don’t go the same way, and one yellow-billed cardinal found himself feeling hungry in a very odd way.
He was hungry for salt.
Personally, I’m rarely hungry for salt itself. I’m not likely to go find a salt shaker and sprinkle some on my tongue. I mean, yuck. Put salt on fried potatoes, though, or popcorn, or…
Well. Let’s just say I’ll eat those up.
Nobody was going to make popcorn or French fries for a yellow-billed cardinal, especially one who couldn’t cook. He hopped around the shore looking for salt, and although there was plenty of it in the ocean, he wasn’t about to drink salt water. He already knew from painful experience that he’d get sick from that.
To his amazement, as he looked, he saw white crystals glistening on the rocks, and even on some of the leaves of the bushes. He thought at first it might be salt left by ocean spray, but it was too far from the breaking waves. Regardless, he pecked a couple of those crystals, and felt much better, even if he did feel pretty thirsty from it.
He didn’t know where it came from, but from time to time when he got hungry for salt again, it was there.
In the meantime, overhead flew the koa’e ‘ula, who spend much of their time far out to sea where there’s too much salt in the water and, for that matter, in the fish that they eat. One of them, in fact, had just had a good long drink of sea water with more salt in it than was good for her.
Unlike the yellow-billed cardinal on the shore below, she could take in more salt because her body could get rid of the excess. Something like tears, salt crystals formed along her beak and sprinkled down on the ground below, where a salt-hungry bird might pick them up.
Neither the koa’e ‘ula nor the yellow-billed cardinal knew anything about the other. Neither of them thought much about it, in fact, but one of them was doing something really important for the other, and didn’t know it.
The same is true of us. Jesus called us the salt of the earth, and he meant that we help other people live and thrive. Sometimes we know we’re doing it, but sometimes we don’t. Just like the koa’e ‘ula, we do ordinary things in our ordinary lives, and someone else lives better because of it.
May we always be the salt of the earth.
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories ahead of time, but I tell them from a combination of memory and improvisation. As a result, the story as I wrote it does not match the story as I told it.
Photos of a yellow-billed cardinal and a koa’e ‘ula by Eric Anderson.
Lots of the Hawaiian forest birds are bright with color. Think about the ‘amakihi and the ‘ahiapola’au with their bright yellow feathers, or the ‘apapane in red and black, or the i’iwi that adds a bright orange bill and orange legs to all those red feathers. That’s a lot of colorful birds flying about the mountain forests.
It has to be said that they also fly around quite a bit. Since they mostly sip nectar and eat nectar-eating bugs, they go from flower to flower pretty quickly, not pausing for very long. When there’s not a lot of nectar in any given flower, you’ve got to visit a lot of flowers for a meal.
The oma’o is different. The oma’o’s gray and brown feathers match the trunks and branches of the trees. It eats lots of fruits, such as the ‘olapa berries in this photo, so it doesn’t fly around as much. Oma’o are enthusiastic and talented singers, rather like the ‘apapane. It even has a call that, to me, sounds like they’re singing, “Oma’o!”
One oma’o, though got to feeling bad about being so gray and so settled. “You should get out more!” sang the ‘apapane as they flew past. “You should be yellow!” shouted the ‘amakihi as they hopped along nearby branches. “You should be red and black!” said an i’iwi as it chased some ‘apapane away.
“Maybe I should,” said this oma’o.
He tried, in fact, to change this. He started with what was easy. He flew about more, flitting from tree to tree. He didn’t really have much idea about how to eat nectar, but he focused on the nectar-eating bugs for a while. That kept him busy, but it also kept him hungry, so he’d return to the ‘olapa trees from time to time and perch and pluck berry after berry until he realized he’d been stationary for “too long” (whatever “too long” meant) and leaped into the air again.
Getting colorful was harder. As far as he could tell, his feathers were the color they were and weren’t going to change. He supposed he could dye them, but his experiments with ‘akala, the Hawaiian raspberry, washed off in the next rain, and hadn’t made him very colorful anyway. He took to following ‘apapane around (i’iwi were too grumpy for this) and picking up feathers that they dropped. Then he’d carefully place them among his own feathers. Feathers have little hooks in them, so this worked better than you’d think, but not much better. They fell out nearly every time he took off, and remember, he had to fly a lot to be like the honeycreepers.
“Grandson, what are you doing?” his grandfather asked one day, having observed the frequent flying and the phony feathers for a couple days.
“I’m trying to be bright,” the younger one said. “I’m trying to show some energy and some color in the forest.”
“Whatever for?” asked his grandfather.
“Because all these other birds look so good, and seem to eat so well, and sing so well, too. I want to be like them.”
“You mean, you want to be happy and well fed? You want to sing with a full heart and a full stomach?”
“Right. Just like that.”
“Now grandson,” said the grandfather, “have you been doing that?”
Of course he hadn’t. He’d been flying about eating things that didn’t satisfy him. He’d been singing sad songs about the colorful feathers that kept dropping away.
“Go perch on some ‘olapa and get filled up,” said grandfather, “and then settle down for a bit and sing the song that’s in your heart. See if doesn’t match the ‘apapane’s song or even do better.”
He’d been foolish, but the younger oma’o recognized wisdom when he heard it. He at some ‘olapa and he perched on its branches for a while. Then he opened his beak and shared his wondrous song.
Like the poor in spirit, like the meek, he was blessed, and shared blessing.
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories in full ahead of time, but I tell them from memory (plus improvisation). The story you just read does not precisely match the way I told it.
One of the things that humans do, you’ve probably noticed, is play games. Sometimes they’re running around games, sometimes they’re tossing things back and forth games, sometimes they’re sit around the table and hope you get to move the number of spaces you want to move games. Sometimes they’re quiet. Sometimes they’re noisy. Hopefully they’re fun, because after all, that’s the point.
Humans aren’t only ones who play games. Lots of creatures do. We see it all the time, and probably sometimes without realizing that they’re playing a game. Even when we do recognize that they’re playing, we may not understand the rules.
Some ae’o – that’s the Hawaiian black-necked stilt – were organizing a game and no, I’ve never understood the rules. I know it had something to do with fishing and something to do with cooperating and beyond that, I’m at a loss. It doesn’t matter to this story, though, because this story is about getting the teams together for the game. Which needed teams. You’ve probably had to put together teams for a game, right?
It can be hard to do.
The two ae’o who were recruiting the teams had very different approaches. One of them basically flew and waded and strutted around and screeched at the ae’o that he wanted to be on his team. “You’re on my team! Get over there!” he’d call, usually without indicating where “there” was, and always without asking if they wanted to be part of the game or not. Some of them did want to play, it’s true, and a few wanted to be on his team, but fewer of them wanted to be on his team when they’d been screeched at like that, and even some of those who did want to be on his team couldn’t figure out where the team was gathering, so that didn’t work very well, either.
The other ae’o, it must be said, took more time at it. She went up to each bird, told them she was putting together a team, and asked them if they wanted to play. If they did, she asked them if they wanted to be on her team. And if they did, she invited them to come along with her while she went to ask the next bird. By the time her team was complete, she was being followed by a trail of ae’o, all of them ready to play the game.
The other team leader had finished screeching, but didn’t actually have a full team. Some were lost. Some had said no. And some had decided they had better things to do than be screeched at while playing a game.
Games are supposed to be fun. Which group of ae’o do you think had more fun?
Being a follower of Jesus is supposed to be a blessing. How do you think you might encourage people to follow Jesus?
This is just me thinking, but I think it would look a lot more like what that second ae’o did: one at a time, gently and lovingly, and with a growing flock behind to show that yes, this is how you can find blessing.
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories in advance, but I tell them from memory combined with inspiration. The text above does not precisely match the story as I told it.
At this time of the year, you might forgive an ‘apapane for looking a little flustered. Or just for looking around. And flying around. A lot. This time of the year can be complicated.
For one thing, it’s time to get pairs together. When two birds have decided they’ll be parents with one another, they’ve got to find a spot for a nest. Then they’ve got to build the nest. Then there are eggs to lay and brood over, and then there will be chicks to feed and fledglings to teach fly, and during all of that, they still need to watch out for cats and hunker down in the storms and, of course, find themselves enough to eat.
One ‘apapane, one who had become something of a tutu to the younger birds, noticed another ‘apapane looking a little frantic.
“What are you looking for?” she asked.
“I can’t remember,” said the other ‘apapane.
“Have you eaten?” said the first one.
“I don’t think so,” said the frantic one.
“Go eat something,” she told him. “There’s some ohi’a in blossom over there, and there will be plenty of bugs there, too. I’m sure you’ll remember better after that.”
Another frantic ‘apapane landed nearby.
“What are you looking for?” asked the tutu.
“I can’t find my husband,” she said.
“Did you find a place for a nest?” asked the tutu.
“We found two, and they’re not in the same tree,” said the younger bird.
“Perch half way between the two, and watch for him,” said the tutu. “I’m sure he’s looking for you, too.”
About a minute after the younger bird flew off, a male ‘apapane flew up.
“What are you looking for?” said the tutu.
“I can’t find my wife!” he said.
“Did you pick two likely nest sites?” asked the tutu. When he said yes, she sent him off to find his wife between those two trees. “You’ll find her,” she said. “She’s looking for you.”
She did this all day, in between sipping nectar and snacking on bugs. She sent some birds after nest materials and some after food and more than you’d expect to find their missing spouses.
“How do you do it?” asked another ‘apapane who’d been watching it all.
“It’s simple,” she said. “I ask them what they’re looking for. Once I know that – actually, once they know that – I can probably help them, or send them to somebody who can help them.
“It’s really hard to find anything when you don’t know what you’re looking for.”
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories in advance, but I tell them from memory plus inspiration. The story you just read does not precisely match the way I told it.
‘Auku’u are cool birds. They’re the most widespread heron in the world (black-crowned night heron). Our Hawaiian ‘auku’u have relatives across all the continents, including Antarctica. They’ve got startling orange eyes when they’re young and even more startling red eyes when they get older. Their blue and gray feathering is very smart, and who can forget those long black and white feathers trailing back from the head. They’re cool birds.
One of them knew it.
Like most ‘auku’u, he spent a good deal of his perching time settling his feathers. They all do that; it’s kind of like the way you and I wash our hands pretty often. Since he knew he was a really cool bird, though, and wanted to make sure everybody else knew it, he spent a lot more time, twice as much time as the other ‘auku’u.
Which is OK, I guess, if you’re a cool bird and want to make sure you stay a cool bird. The problem was, he decided that since he was a cool bird he would also be the best fed bird.
‘Auku’u do tend to warn other birds away when they’re feeding, but he took it to another level. If he saw a bird land nearby, he’d squawk and screech. If it flew away, he’d squawk until it was out of sight. If it landed, he’d take off and fly right at it, screeching until it took to the air again.
He squawked at other ‘auku’u. He squawked at ae’o. He squawked at ale’e ke’oke’o. He squawked at cattle egrets and kolea and akekeke. All in all, he screeched at everyone.
Then he’d settle back down, settle his feathers, and turn his attention to fishing once more – except that by this time another bird would usually settle nearby and he’d be screeching again.
Not too far away, some other ‘auku’u watched all this with some puzzlement.
“What good is all that doing him?” asked one of the other.
“Is he eating any better?” asked the second of the first.
“I don’t think so,” she answered. “Does he look any better to you?”
“Not to me,” her friend said. “He mostly looks unhappy.”
“With all that preening,” said the first ‘auku’u, “he should look more stylish than that.”
“You know, I hate to say it,” said the second ‘auku’u, “he doesn’t look cool.”
“Not cool at all,” said his friend.
“It’s a pity,” said the second, “that a cool bird looks so uncool.”
The screeching started again from across the pond, and the two birds shrugged, settled some of their own feathers, and turned back to fishing.
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories in advance, but I tell them from memory and inspiration. As a result, the story you just read will not be precisely as I told it.
Photo of an ‘auku’u (a black-crowned night heron) by Eric Anderson.
“What is wisdom?” wondered the ‘amakihi as he flew through the sky.
“What is wisdom?” wondered the ‘amakihi as he sipped on ohi’a nectar.
“What is wisdom?” wondered the ‘amakihi as he settled down to sleep at night.
“What is wisdom?” wondered the ‘amakihi as he woke in the morning.
“What is wisdom?” is, in fact, an extremely good question whether you’re an ‘amakihi or a human being. Wisdom, after all, tends to prevent a lot of foolishness. Foolishness, on the other hand, tends to happen in the absence of wisdom.
“What is wisdom?” wandered the ‘amakihi over the course of the day.
One of the features of wisdom is that when someone who is wise doesn’t know or doesn’t understand something, they do things to learn more about it. They look around at things. They measure and they think about what they’ve measured. If they’re human, they might read something, or a lot of somethings. They ask others to see what they know.
Whether you’re a human or an ‘amakihi, a good one to ask would be tutu.
“Tutu,” asked the ‘amakihi, “what is wisdom?”
Tutu was pleased. It was a wise question – if you don’t know something, wisdom says, “Ask.” He’d made a wise choice about who to ask – grandparents often know things. And he was asking about something important, wisdom itself.
She replied with a question of her own: “What is knowledge, grandson?”
“Knowledge?” he asked. “I hadn’t thought much about that… it seemed kind of obvious. If I know something that’s true, that’s been demonstrated to me, that’s knowledge. If I think I know something that isn’t true, or if I simply don’t know something, that’s not knowledge. Is that right?”
“That’s right,” said Tutu. “Now let me ask something else.”
“Are you going to answer my question?” asked her grandson, who was starting to worry that if he answered all her questions she wouldn’t get around to answering his.
“I am,” she said. “Now here’s my question: Can you fly with your wings closed?”
He opened his beak to reply, then stopped. It doesn’t make much sense, but he realized that sometimes while flying, he would close his wings. Not for long. Not all the time, obviously. But for a few moments in many flights, he would be flying with his wings closed.
“Yes,” he said carefully. “For a moment or two.”
“How do you know whether to close your wings in flight?”
“It’s complicated,” he said. “How high up am I? How much do I need to rest my wings for a moment? Will I need to make a quick turn or slow down to land? There isn’t a simple answer.”
“That’s right, there isn’t,” she told him. “Knowing that you can fold your wings in flight is knowledge. You know it’s something you can do. Choosing the right moment to do it – or the right moment not to do it – that’s wisdom.
“Wisdom is when you consider what you don’t know for certain, what might happen, or what might not happen if you do something, and then make a good choice. Wisdom looks at what you know, and asks whether you should.
“That, grandson, is wisdom.”
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories in advance, but I tell them from memory and inspiration on Sunday mornings. What you have just read does not precisely match how I told it.
Shepherd 1: A tender of sheep Shepherd 2: A tender of sheep and one goat Sheep: A wooly creature Goat: A non-wooly creature Lead Angel: A messenger to shepherds Angels: A backup chorus of messengers Mary: A young woman Joseph: A young man Magi 1: A scholar dressed a lot like a king Magi 2: Another scholar dressed a lot like a king
SCENE 1: A hillside
[SHEPHERD 1, SHEPHERD 2, GOAT, and SHEEP enter]
Shepherd 1: I can’t believe you brought a goat.
Shepherd 2: Why not bring a goat? Goats are cool. They don’t get lost as often as sheep. And they give milk. That’s useful.
Shepherd 1: OK, all that is true. But you only brought one goat. Shouldn’t you have brought a herd of goats?
Shepherd 2: Of course I’ve heard of goats.
Shepherd 1: Ha, ha. I’m not sure that joke is going to be funny even if two thousand years go by.
Shepherd 2: I thought it was funny. And I’m sure the goat heard. Did you think it was funny?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 1: Why did you bring just one goat?
Shepherd 2: I’m picky.
Shepherd 1: So brought just one goat because…
Shepherd 2: It’s the best goat.
Shepherd 1: Just how do you choose the best goat?
Shepherd 2: The best goat has great hair, great hooves, great ears, and most of all, great horns.
Shepherd 1: And this one is the best goat, is it?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 2: You hear them? They agree.
Shepherd 1: That sounded like “Bah” to me.
[The LEAD ANGEL and the ANGELS enter]
Shepherds: Aaaggghhhh!
Sheep: Bah!
Goat: Bah!
Lead Angel: Do not be afraid!
Shepherd 1: Why not? I’m terrified!
Shepherd 2: Me, too! I planned on the best goat, not the Lead Angel.
Angels: Us, too!
Shepherd 2: Plus the other angels. Sorry.
Lead Angel: I bring you good news!
Shepherd 1: We’re getting good grass this season?
Shepherd 2: The price of goat’s milk is going up?
Shepherd 1: My family is going to learn to spin and weave wool?
Shepherd 2: This really is the best goat ever?
Sheep: Bah!
Goat: Bah!
Angels: Hush and you’ll learn something!
Lead Angel: Think bigger, shepherds.
Angels: Much bigger!
Shepherd 2: I need a bigger goat?
Goat: Bah!
Lead Angel: No. Down the hill in the City of David…
Shepherd 1: The what?
Lead Angel: Bethlehem. It’s where King David came from.
Angels: Now stop interrupting!
Lead Angel: Down in the City of David a child has been born to save all people. He is the Messiah, the Lord.
Shepherd 1: Wow.
Lead Angel: Go to the city and look for a newborn who is wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.
Shepherd 2: Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt, but… what are swaddling cloths?
Lead Angel: You don’t have children, do you?
Shepherd 2: No. I have the best goat, though.
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Lead Angel: Swaddling cloths are light blankets you wrap around a baby to keep him warm.
Shepherd 2: Oh. OK. Good. And… One other thing?
Lead Angel: Really? All right. What else do you want to know?
Shepherd 2: A manger? Like, a feeding trough? We should be looking for the Messiah in a stable?
Lead Angel: Where else would you look?
Shepherd 1: Don’t argue with the angel.
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 2: Right. We’ll look in the stables.
Shepherd 1: Thanks for the good news!
Angels: Hallelujah! Glory to God!
[ANGELS and LEAD ANGEL exit]
Shepherd 2: What do we do now?
Shepherd 1: You might want to argue with angels, but not me. We’re going to Bethlehem.
Goat: Bah!
Shepherd 1: Don’t forget your goat.
[SHEPHERD 1, SHEPHERD 2, GOAT, and SHEEP exit]
SCENE 2: A Stable
[MARY and JOSEPH enter with baby]
Mary: Did I just have a baby in a stable?
[JOSEPH looks at the bundle Mary is carrying]
Joseph: That’s a baby you’ve got. I’d say yes. Yes, you just had a baby in a stable.
Mary: No wonder I’m so tired. Can you hold him for a bit?
Joseph: Sure. Wait. There’s a manger here. It’s got straw in it. That should be soft for a baby, right?
Mary: Put him in it and see if he cries.
[JOSEPH puts the baby in the manger. No crying]
Joseph: No crying.
Mary: Not from him, maybe. I’m about ready to cry. What a night!
Joseph: It’s all right, Mary. It’ll all be quiet from here.
[SHEPHERD 1, SHEPHERD 2, GOAT, and SHEEP enter]
Shepherd 1: Hi. Sorry to bother you, but is there a baby here in a manger?
Shepherd 2: This is our sixth stable tonight and boy are my feet tired.
[GOAT looks in the manger]
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 2: Would you look at that?
Shepherd 1: It’s a baby in a manger!
Shepherd 2: And my goat found it. He really is the best, you know.
Joseph: Excuse me, but who are you?
Mary: And why are you looking for a baby in a manger? Why would you even think to look for a baby in a manger?
Shepherd 1: Oh, we didn’t think of it.
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 2: We don’t think very much, really.
Shepherd 1: Some angels came and told us to look for a baby in a manger.
Shepherd 2: It was pretty scary, actually.
Shepherd 1: It was scarier after you started arguing with the angels. Who does that?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 2: I don’t do it often.
Joseph: Slow down. You say angels told you to come here?
Shepherd 1: They told us to look here.
Shepherd 2: And six stables later, here you are!
Mary: Why? Why did the angels tell you to look for a baby in a stable?
Shepherd 2: Oh. Didn’t we mention that?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Shepherd 1: I guess we didn’t. You see, the angel told us that this baby is…
Goat: Bah!
Shepherd 2: The Messiah!
[Everyone looks at the baby]
Shepherd 1: So… that’s what a Messiah looks like?
Mary: When he’s just been born.
Shepherd 2: Oh. So you knew already?
Mary: Let’s just say I’ve had my own conversation with an angel.
Shepherd 1: I’m sure she didn’t argue the way you did.
Mary: I just asked questions.
[LEAD ANGEL and other ANGELS enter]
Lead Angel: You didn’t argue at all.
Mary: It was weird, though.
Lead Angel: Of course it was unusual. You don’t think we send Messiah every day, do you?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Lead Angel: Well said.
Angels: Hallelujah!
Shepherd 2: Of course it’s well said. He’s the best goat.
[MAGI 1 and MAGI 2 enter. MAGI 1 is really tired.]
Magi 1: Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.
Lead Angel: Hey, that’s my line!
Mary: Yes, I’ve heard that one before.
Magi 2: I’m sorry. You’ll have to forgive him. He’s been carrying the heavy stuff.
Joseph: If you don’t mind, who are you, and why are you barging into our baby’s bedroom – er, stable – at this hour?
Magi 1: Barging? We haven’t got a barge. Not a sign of a boat at all. No, we’ve had camels.
Magi 2: Our other friend is parking the camels.
Magi 1: Why didn’t he bring them in here? It’s a stable, after all.
Magi 2: Because of the newborn baby? Really. Put the gold down. It’s not helping you think.
[The MAGI put their bundles down]
Shepherd 1: Did he say, “Gold”?
Shepherd 2: I think he said “Gold”.
Mary: Gold?
Joseph: Gold?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Lead Angel: Yes, he said gold.
Mary: Why are you carrying gold?
Magi 1: I’m not carrying it any more. I put it down.
Magi 2: What my exhausted friend means is that we’re here to celebrate the birth of the newborn Messiah. That’s him, isn’t it? In… Why is he in a feeding trough?
Joseph: There wasn’t any room in the inn.
Magi 1: I guess the inn was an “out.”
Magi 2: That’s not going to be funny if you wait for two thousand years.
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Magi 1: Is that a goat criticizing my sense of humor?
Shepherd 2: Yes, sir, but rest assured, he’s the best goat. The best goat ever.
Magi 1: Oh. Well, that’s different. The best goat ever.
Joseph: Could we go back to why you’re here?
Magi 2: We’re here to welcome the newborn king, and to make sure he’s greeted with proper respect.
Magi 1: And presents.
Magi 2: Right. Presents for a king.
Mary: Kings get presents?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Magi 1: Oh, yes. Kings definitely get presents. And given that this one is sleeping in a manger, it seems like a good thing.
Joseph: He’s got a point.
Lead Angel: Oh, while we’re talking about it, you’ll probably want to sell the presents and go to Egypt for a while. And, wise men? Don’t go back to tell Herod where this baby is. OK?
Goat: Bah!
Sheep: Bah!
Angels: Amen!
Magi 2: Well. All right. We’ll go home another way.
Lead Angel: Good plan.
Mary: Could you tell me one more time why you’re all here in this stable with my baby in the middle of the night?
Shepherd 2: Well, you see, we’ve got the best goat…
Shepherd 1: I can’t believe you brought up the goat.
Shepherd 2: No, really. We’ve got the best goat. But when I listen to the wise men here, and when I listen to the angels…
Lead Angel: When you’re not interrupting the angels…
Shepherd 2: I realize that while I might have the best goat, here in this manger you’ve got, I mean, we’ve got, I mean, the whole world has got:
The young people of Church of the Holy Cross UCC in Hilo, Hawai’i, performed “The GOAT” on December 21, 2025.
Author’s Note
I began writing Christmas pageants a few years ago when I realized that we could violate copyright if we streamed a commercially available script via live stream. It says something about me that I was more willing to write a script than I was to dig through the marketing of pageants to find one that included a streaming license.
It also means that I can adapt the script to the available actors. I once wrote a script with no Joseph because we simply didn’t have a youngster willing to do the role. In this case, the children were very impressed with a story featuring a goat that our Associate Conference Minister, the Rev. Jonathan Roach, told them some months ago. One of them announced that he wanted to be a goat in the pageant, and therefore the pageant needed to include a goat.
As is the way of some creatures, the goat took over.
One of the things I like about this pageant is the way everyone notices all the things that simply don’t make sense, such as a newborn monarch born in a stable rather than a palace. It emphasizes the truth that God does what God does, not what we expect God to do. A Messiah was born in a stable. What more might be waiting in God’s imagination?
I don’t know how it came into the ‘apapane’s head to organize a Christmas pageant. I don’t even know how he’d heard about Christmas, let alone a Christmas pageant. Nevertheless, he flew all over the island, searching for creatures to take part in the pageant.
He asked the I’iwi, who was feeling grumpy that day and didn’t say yes, or no, or anything at all.
He asked the ‘io, which was very brave of him. The ‘io said she might come and looked… hungry.
He flew down to the shoreline to ask the honu. She said no, she wasn’t going to swim up to the mountain forest, which seemed fair. A house sparrow said he might fly up after he’d finished his bath.
A saffron finch thought it sounded odd but said he might hang around for it. The ‘apapane asked a yellow-billed cardinal and a myna. They both looked doubtful, and then the myna started an argument with some other mynas that wasn’t over when he left to talk to more shorebirds.
The auku’u looked puzzled, but said he’d come. “I’m coming, too,” announced a kolea. “I’ve flown thousands of miles for this. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“If the kolea is coming, I’m coming, too,” piped up an ‘akekeke, and a hunakai said the same.
The koa’e kea announced that she would play Mary, because didn’t Mary have a long tail? The ‘apapane wasn’t sure, so he didn’t argue. An ala’e ke’oke’o asked if there was a good fish pond up in the forest, and when he was told there wasn’t, looked skeptical.
The ae’o said she might turn up. If she felt like it. If she didn’t have anything else to do. The cattle egret said, of course he’d be there. One of his ancestors had been present at the original birth, hadn’t she?
The ‘apapane left the shorebirds to spread the word further and returned to the forest. The oma’o stopped singing barely long enough to say, “Yes.” The ‘alawi just looked nervous and kept hunting insects without saying anything.
He searched long and hard for an ‘akiapola’au, who asked, “What’s that all about?” After listening to the ‘apapane’s explanation, he gave a whistle and flew off into the forest. The nene just stared at him.
When it was pageant time, it was chaos. Creatures stepped into the clearing the ‘apapane had selected, then faded back into the trees again. Frightened chirps flew back and forth, and so did frightened birds. Mejiro and ‘elepaio peeped out from the trees. The mynas announced that they would be the angel chorus, then exploded into another argument.
“What do you need to settle down and play your parts?” shouted the ‘apapane from a tree.
“Is the ‘io here?” asked an ‘amakihi. “Yes,” said the ‘io from the sky overhead. “Are you going to eat us?” asked the ‘amakihi. For a moment there was silence. Then the ‘io said, “No. Not today. Today there’s a pageant to do.”
The ‘apapane spent the next hour answering the questions. The koa’e kea had just flown in from a lava fountain, and since she wanted to play Mary, she did. A kioea had flown up from the shore and wanted to play Joseph. “You’re a rare bird,” said the ‘apapane, so he did. The little ‘elepaio played shepherds while the nene played sheep. The I’iwi didn’t want to cheer up, so he played the grumpy innkeeper. The sleeping pig was cast as a sleeping cow and did it very well.
High overhead the ‘io provided the voice of Gabriel, while ‘apapane, ‘amakihi, mejiro, and mynas sang as the angel chorus. Seabirds and shorebirds took places as creatures of the stable.
When the time came, birds from other shores – a northern cardinal, a red junglefowl, and a pair of zebra doves – played the magi.
The ‘akiapola’au lay just one egg and very rarely, so a young one played Jesus.
When it was over, the creatures vanished back into the trees, leaving the ‘apapane alone in the silence. He’d answered every question, met every need, somehow.
The trees rustled in the breeze, applauding the ‘apapene’s Christmas pageant.
The End.
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
On this occasion, I read from the prepared text (and still made a couple of changes).
The kolea is a pretty mellow bird. They’re not terribly skittish, though some will keep a sensible distance from people. We are a lot bigger than a kolea and probably look kind of scary to them.
The myna, on the other hand, is not a mellow bird. They sing a fair amount, but they also screech and argue. They’re pretty sociable with one another, and one moment everybody is happy and content, and the next moment everybody is hollering at one another.
Which makes them a lot like some people, now that I think of it.
Mynas fly, of course, but you could call them homebodies. They don’t tend to go very far. Kolea, on the other hand, fly long distances from where they nest in Alaska to where they spend the winter here in Hawai’i. If you’ve ever flown on an airplane to the North American continent, you know that’s a long flight. Well, kolea fly it with their own wings and they don’t go as fast, so it takes longer.
The mynas find it all rather puzzling and strange.
A myna was picking worms and seeds alongside a kolea one day. The two of them were quiet most of the time, because by chance most of the myna’s other friends had had a big argument and flown off to continue it somewhere else. So it was just the two of them.
“I’ve always wanted to know,” said the myna to the kolea. “Why do you fly so far?”
The kolea thought about it. “I’m not sure anyone has asked me that before,” he said.
“Well, I’m asking,” said the myna.
“I do like the change,” said the kolea, “and I know that it gets awfully cold in Alaska during the winter.”
“Then why not stay here?” asked the myna.
“There are different things there,” said the kolea, “and it just feels right to raise chicks there.”
“Then why fly all the way here?” asked the myna. “What do you come here to see?’
The kolea was quiet for so long that the myna was about to ask the question again, but then the kolea spoke:
“I come to see different trees, trees that blossom red and purple and gold. I come to see soaring mountains crowned with snow when there’s green all around the island. I come to see waterfalls that make rainbows. I come to see mountains with fire and beaches with black sand.
“I come to see birds that also live in Alaska, like ‘akekeke, and birds that don’t live in Alaska, like ‘apapane and nene and saffron finches.
“I don’t think I’d appreciated, though, that I also come to see mynas, and to be asked questions I was never asked. The next time I fly to Hawai’i, I’ll be coming to see you.”
“I’m glad,” said the myna. “Next time you fly from Alaska, I’ll be very glad to see you.”
by Eric Anderson
Watch the Recorded Story
I write these stories in advance, but I tell them from memory (and inspiration). The story you have just read is not identical to the story as I told it.
Photo of a myna (on left) and a kolea (on right) by Eric Anderson.
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