Stop Reading My Mind, Jesus

No! I wasn’t thinking that! Get out of my head, Jesus!

“Physician, cure yourself”? No: I didn’t think that,
at least I didn’t if you judge quite narrowly.
I might have thought – just might, you know –
that here you are, enlisting me
to help redeem the world, and who, I want to know,
was left in charge, and left so great a mess!

No! I wasn’t thinking that! Get out of my head, Jesus!

“Do here the things you did in other places”? No,
or well, perhaps. OK, I thought it. There. So there.
But who would not consider such a question, when
the days build on from days, absent miracle,
filled with suffering, maladies, and pain.
So yes, I’d like to see the wonders others have.

No! I wasn’t thinking that! Get out of my head, Jesus!

I’ll honor you, for sure. My home town is not Nazareth,
so you are not the local wonder, raised from penury
to power. You are not one I’ve known for years,
a face familiar to me as the mirror’s gaze.
Except, of course, you are: Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
hamstrung for my comfort’s sake.

Stop reading my mind, Jesus, or I’ll bring you to the edge of my cliff.

A poem/prayer based on Luke 4:21-30, the Revised Common Lectionary Gospel reading for Year C, 4th Sunday after the Epiphany.

Photo by Eric Anderson.

In the Parking Lot

The rest can argue, argue, argue, God
(My God, how they can argue!)
about the preaching son of a carpenter,
about the son of Mary.

But I will not forget, my God,
the way he read the ancient words:
good news to those oppressed,
broken hearts restored,

the captives’ roar of freedom,
the prisoners released.
He spoke, and I heard him proclaim
the acceptable year of the living God.

Good news. Healing.
Freedom. Release.
Your acceptable year.
I will not forget.

A poem/prayer based on Luke 4:14-21, the Revised Common Lectionary Gospel reading for Year C, 3rd Sunday after the Epiphany.

The image is “Jésus enseigne dans les synagogues” by James Tissot. Online Collection of Brooklyn Museum; Photo: Brooklyn Museum, 2008, 00.159.81_PS2.jpg, Public Domain,

Sure, I’ll Have Another Cup

Great party, isn’t it, Jesus?
Have you tasted the wine?
I tell you, it’s the best I’ve ever had.
And just imagine! They brought this out
when few of us (but me, the connoisseur)
had drunk too much to know
the difference!

Great party, isn’t it, Jesus?
The servants weave their festive dance,
the jugs refilled at every gesture,
and every guest bears overflowing cup –
except for me, the connoisseur.
I won’t miss a drop. I know
the difference!

Great party, isn’t it, Jesus?
Come, have a cup of wine with me!
I think I’m well ahead of you on this.
Don’t frown into your drinking bowl
as if you scented blood. I’m a connoisseur,
I tell you. I would know
the difference!

Great party, isn’t it, Jesus?
But you recoil from this wine
as if it were long soured,
served upon a reeking sponge
to one crucified. But I’m a connoisseur,
I am. Of wine, I know
the difference.

A poem/prayer based on John 2:1-11, the Revised Common Lectionary Gospel reading for Year C, 2nd Sunday after the Epiphany.

Photo by Eric Anderson.

The Water’s Fine… Really?

Breaking waves on a black rocky beach.
Breaking waves in Pohoiki, January 2019.

I see you waving, Jesus.
I see that mischievous grin.
I see those clenching teeth
behind the dancing laughter.

“Come in!” you cry.
“The water’s fine!”

Uh, huh.

I know that water’s cold.

A poem/prayer based on Luke 3:15-17, 21-22, the Revised Common Lectionary Psalm reading for Year C, 1st Sunday after the Epiphany, the Baptism of Jesus.

The image is the beach at Pohoiki, on the island of Hawai’i. The beach formed from black sand created by the 2018 Puna eruption as hot lava entered the sea. Ocean currents deposited the material here. Photo by Eric Anderson.

I Could Use a Star

Twinkle, twinkle…
Where’s my star, O God?
Where the heavenly beacon
guiding me across my unmapped life
to wonders and to glories?
Where, in all Your heavenly wonder,
is my star?

And perhaps God replies:

Look up, my child.
Look within. You can perceive it.
Seek and find.
My star for you has led you
to this place and time.
It has led you over sea and mountain.
Look, my child. Where your footsteps
run, that is where I led you.

And I reply:

Twinkle, twinkle…
Have I truly followed
this ephemeral guiding star
of Yours? Do not my footprints
wander more than stride?
And where, in all Your wonder,
is the Christ to worship?

And perhaps God laughs:

You wandered? Does that mean
you did not follow the guiding star?
The magi, after all,
first went to the wrong city.
Yet truly you, as they,
seek first awry. For you will find
the Christ is always with you:
always with you in your heart.

A poem/prayer based on Matthew 2:1-12, the Revised Common Lectionary Psalm reading for Year C, Epiphany.

The image is the Bethlehem Star that has adorned Church of the Holy Cross during the Advent and Christmas seasons for many years. Photo by Eric Anderson.

2018 Was Not… Boring

The year in video

The Rev. Molly Phinney Baskette, one of the finest preachers and pastors I know, reminded us today of her New Year’s Eve prayer a year ago: that 2018 would be “boring.”

It was not.

It was not for me, for my family, or for many of my neighbors, either.

It began with some real high points. I began the year by welcoming the Rev. Dr. Chris Davies, a long-time friend, to the pulpit of Church of the Holy Cross. Quite aside from relishing her words of wisdom, I got to act out her reading of a favorite children’s book, and we celebrated communion together.

I was wrestling with my first struggle of the year, however. I’d developed a growth on my nose in December. It had been removed, tested, and found to be benign, but I still had to have a MOHS procedure to make sure it was all gone, lest it return. So I wore bandages on my nose for a few weeks, including during a visit east in January.

Brendan had begun working for Starbucks by then in Boston, and Rebekah was serving as an intern at the First Church of Simsbury, Connecticut. We got together with my father, recovering from his second broken leg in Massachusetts, and starting to get used to the new apartment he and Shirley had moved to.

Paul Bryant-Smith and I enjoyed playing two Boys in Hats concerts in 2018 – pretty impressive considering the distances involved. In January we played at the Saugatuck Congregational Church in Westport, and in May we played at First Church in Simsbury. Rebekah and her co-interns sang one of my songs at the church in January with a proud poppa looking on.

Back in Hilo, I was able to photograph a lunar eclipse in February, and enjoyed hiking in Volcanoes National Park, Rotary social events, and taking pictures of flowers. I was summoned to provide music leadership again for the Hawai’i Conference Clergy Retreat in March (this Conference, and indeed this Association, has a *lot* of musical talent) with the instruction to “choose songs that everybody knows.”

That meant, of course, “Jesus Loves Me.”

Lent came early, and we offered Ideas for Lenten Disciplines again. I maintained my personal discipline of #ThursdaysInBlack throughout the year.

Also in March, I found myself seated at the same table with US Senator Mazie Hirono as the Zone Club of Hilo honored her and Irene Nagao with the Rose Award. I just tried to look like I belonged with the dignitaries.

The end of March brought the solemn riches of Holy Week. The Congregational Christian Church of American Samoa joined us for Maundy Thursday worship, so we heard the Tenebrae readings in two languages. On Easter, a lovely sunrise opened the day’s celebrations. Somehow, I managed to complete the sermon without saying something like, “You thought Jesus was dead. April Fool!”

I finally got to see the Hokulea, the double-hulled canoe whose Malama Honua voyage circumnavigated the globe. She visited Connecticut’s shore not long after I moved to Hawai’i, and came to Hilo for the Merrie Monarch Festival.

My father celebrated his 80th birthday in April. I was late to the party – actually, they delayed it so I could be there. I flew to Florida first, to take part in the UCC Pension Boards’ offering of CREDO, an education program for clergy. I was delighted to discover some good friends were among the group, and even better pleased to find how important the program was. I got a better sense of myself as a person and as a pastor, and made some decisions about steps to take in my life and work in the months ahead.

But that would wait. I spent the next week back in New England, where the family had gathered to celebrate Dad’s birthday. We enjoyed our lunch, helped him blow out the candles, and told enough stories about him that he felt like we could save some for next year.

Even as we were doing this, lava had started flowing in Leilani Estates on Hawai’i Island. The Lower Puna Eruption of 2018 claimed 700 homes and displaced over 2,000 people. I returned home to join the faith community’s efforts to bring relief. We served meals, encouraged volunteering at the shelters, organized a laundry voucher program, and basically searched for the gaps in people’s lives. Our weekly meetings generated a lot of activity.

I also returned home to face the loss of a dear church member. I’d had breakfast on Easter morning with Millie and her family – she proudly told me that though she couldn’t get them all to church on a Sunday morning, she could get everyone to Easter sunrise service. Hers was the first funeral of 2018, but not the last. Millie, Joe, and Margaret were all people I’ve come to know and treasure in these years. I gave their lives to God with an aching heart.

My heart had more to ache about, because in June my father suffered an infection. We thought he’d overcome it, it turned out that his body had had enough. He died on July 1st as I spoke with him on the phone. Five days later, I was in New England with the family. Due to the kindness of the church leadership here, I was able to stay two weeks.

Dad’s service was painful wonderful. Memorial words from Elva Merry Pawle, Chuck Ericson, and Paul Bryant-Smith brought tears and laughter. Paul and I played “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” (the Israel Kamakawiwaole version) and “The Great Storm is Over.” My brother and I looked over old photos, and then had to stop.

Dad and Karenna
A Tribute to Lynn Anderson

Back in Hilo, the eruption continued. I kept up the work with the Faith Hui, worked with the Hawai’i Island Church and Ministry Committee, played every other Friday for our Community Sings, and planned a solo concert (my first in some years) for August. Our choir director Rachel Edwards and I discovered that we could do a pretty amazing duet of “Ain-a That Good News.” I wrote a sermon entitled, “This May Need a Song” – and so I also wrote a song.

The week of the concert, disaster struck – again. The lava flow in Puna had subsided (though nobody was at all sure whether it might resume), and now we received a Pacific hurricane. Lane passed a hundred miles south of Hawai’i Island, turned north, and slowed. Though it was far offshore, its cyclonic winds drew moisture-laden air from the east right over Hilo, where it fell. Over four days, we received over four feet of rain.

Flooding along the Hilo Bayfront on August 25th

Despite the weather, which was still bad on August 25th, the concert raised over a thousand dollars for Puna eruption relief.

Brendan and Rebekah both shifted addresses in September. Brendan continued working for Starbucks, but moved out to West Newton. Rebekah began her studies at Union Theological Seminary in New York City.

In September we held a special memorial service for the Rev. Susumu Yamane, Pastor Emeritus of Church of the Holy Cross. He had been well loved in the church and the community, and we were glad to honor him for his ministry and service. Shortly after we took on meal preparation for a village of Puna evacuees – for a week in October, then once a week through November and December. I went down a couple times with guitar and ukulele to offer some music along with the meal.

By October, however, I was exhausted. I have rarely taken time off in October, but this time I had to. I spent most of it in Kona, enjoying sunsets rather than sunrises. I came back to honor the beloved souls who had passed that year at our annual All Saints worship service, including my dad.

Sunrise on Halloween

Also in October, I began walking each weekday, first thing in the morning. One result was a lot of dramatic sunrise photos. I don’t know that I’m any healthier, but I do enjoy it.

The holiday season came with a great project, and great joy. Our Board of Deacons decided to encourage members to bring non-perishable food items, one contributed each day, through Advent. One said that it was a pity that we probably couldn’t find a daily devotional on giving for the season, and I said, “I might be able to write one.” And I did. The result was “An Advent of Giving,” and probably over 400 pounds of food items brought to The Food Basket. We haven’t weighed the last week’s gifts yet.

And the great joy:

Brendan flew out on December 15th and spent two weeks here. We got to explore some parts of the island, but enough so that he’ll have to return to see more. Rebekah arrived on December 19th, and will stay until mid-January.

Well. That’s quite a year. I haven’t even touched on the year in the nation or the world, which had enough strangeness and chaos to fill a bookshelf. Nor have I mentioned several friends’ visits which gave me great joy.

I’m conscious of how much I’ve deferred my CREDO decisions. Natural disasters and family crises have that effect. I’m also conscious, however, that I am where I belong, and (mostly) doing what I should be doing. We’ll see how this coming year changes the “mostly.”

Hau’oli makahiki hou – have a joyful, healthy, and happy New Year!

2018 in Pictures on Flickr

The Proud

IMG_3925 (1)I confess uncertainty, O God,
in coming to you with this ancient prayer
of Mary’s, scattering the proud.

I look upon this world and see
a glaring need for scattering the proud.
Perhaps a table turned or two.

Yes, scatter all the proud, O God,
as Mary saw, unless: one of
the proud you’d scatter would be me.

A poem/prayer based on Luke 1:45b-55, the Revised Common Lectionary Psalm reading for Year C, Advent 4.

The image is “Saint Jean Baptiste prêchant devant Hérode Antipas” by Pieter de Grebber.